Gran Torino
Rating: 
Reviewed by: Eric Alt
Directed by: Clint Eastwood
The Skinny: A crusty, racially-insensitive Korean war vet living in a rapidly-deteriorating neighborhood finds himself becoming the block's unwitting guardian angel after pulling a gun on Asian gangbangers intent on roughing up the quiet kid next door.
The Good: Only Clint Eastwood could be this badass at an age when most people's battles are solely between themselves and their prostates (who else could make "Get off my lawn" the "Go ahead, make my day" of the retirement set?).
Gran Torino unfolds slowly, but Eastwood balances sadness, humor, and applause-worthy tough guy moments without ever tipping the balance too far in any direction. And the resolution, not to spoil anything, is exactly how the story needed to end.
The Bad: Bee Vang, who plays the bullied kid next door, is, to put it simply, a bad actor. The role needs just a little more, and the kid can't deliver. His weakness is made more obvious because Ahney Her, who plays his smart-cookie sister, is really, really good. And some of the jokes about wacky Asian grandma's are a touch cornball.
Thanks, Dad: The white wannabe homie who gets humiliated by a trio of black youths and then humiliated again by Clint is none other than Eastwood's son, Scott.
Theater, DVD, or TNT in Five Years? This is worth a trip out. It's a simple story, but well told and proof that Clint can still kick your candy ass.
The Unborn
Rating: 
Reviewed by: Eric Alt
Directed by: David Goyer
The Skinny: Years after her mother committed suicide while tucked away in a loony bin, a young girl starts having visions of creepy children, bugs, dogs wearing masks, and fetuses in jars. When these visions start physically attacking people, her concern intensifies.
The Good: Goyer, who wrote
Batman Begins and the three
Blade movies, does a decent job of setting up the creepiness, and several of the sequences succeed in either scaring the crap out of you (don't EVER check behind a bathroom mirror when you hear knocking sounds) or seriously creeping you the hell out (the "Eli" scene is by far the movie's strongest moment).
The Bad: Unfortunately,
The Unborn seems determined to undo its positive points by following up every decent moment with forehead-slapping idiocy, huge leaps in logic, and piss-poor acting (we're looking at you, Meagan Good and Cam Gigandet). Case in point: Our troubled heroine's only hope to drive away the evil spirits is an ancient Kabbalah manuscript…which, apparently, you can check out of the downtown Chicago public library. Gary Oldman (as a preternaturally patient Rabbi) and Idris Elba (as a priest who gets
one friggin' scene) deserve better movies around them.
However…: Star Odette Yustman is like some miraculous cross between Jennifer Connelly and Megan Fox, which is why A)
The Unborn is watchable even at its worst parts and B) it was
THE BEST POSTER EVER. Theater, DVD, or TNT in Five Years? It's a rental for those nights when you want your girl to huddle close to you in terror
and start thinking about baby-making. Score!
