"Little Help?"
Jerry’s at the urinal in an airport restroom when a guy
with no arms sidles up next to him and pleads, "Hey,
buddy–can you help me out here?"
Though he feels uneasy, Jerry bravely unzips the man, takes a
deep breath, and reaches in to pull out the guy’s penis. Much to
his horror, it’s hideous. It’s moldy and bluish green,
covered with pus-filled scabs, and it reeks something awful.
Imagining the kudos he’ll get on Judgment Day, Jerry holds
the man’s unit while he finishes urinating, shakes it, then puts
it back in the man’s pants and zips him up.
The guy tells Jerry, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it."
"No problem," says Jerry. "But I gotta ask—What
the hell’s wrong with your johnson?"
The guy pokes his arms back out of his sleeves and says, "I don’t
know, but I sure as hell ain’t touching it."