Brandon Jacobs: Freight Train on the Field, Thomas the Tank Engine Off the Field

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If you're stuck at work and haven't been able to boot up your Xbox 360 today, you're missing out on a new update put out by Microsoft. Dubbed the "New Xbox 360 Experience," your console essentially gets a makeover with some new goodies in the form of avatars and Netflix streaming. Celebrating the new feature, the Big M enlisted the help of one of the best NFL running backs this year, the New York Giants' Brandon Jacobs, surprising one lucky family during an Xbox/Netflix "Movie Night" on Tuesday. Jacobs and his wife (pictured above in the white jacket) sat down for some much needed down time, playing with the kids while watching Ratatouille, a movie about rodents with amazing culinary abilities. He'll be continuing the cooking motif this Sunday against the Arizona Cardinals' defense. (We hear the Special of the Day is minced meat.)

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The Week In Game Reviews: MOOOORTAL KOMBAAAT!!!

Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe



Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe
Rating:

Reviewed by: Gerasimos Manolatos

Price: $59.99

The Skinny: The Mortal Kombat and DC Comics worlds collide, pitting some of your favorite heroes and villains against one another in a fight to the death. Well, at least until the severe bruising.

The Good: The character art is spot on and the storylines, spearheaded by Ed Boon on the MK side and Jimmy Palmiotti (Manhunter, Secret Six) on the DC side, make a faithful transition to next-gen consoles. Veterans of Street Fighter's hadouken duo Ken and Ryu will have no problem figuring out the moves for the characters—most of them are some permutation of "down," "front," and "button". Others will take solace in the traditional method of playing video games: button mashing until your thumb feels broken.

The Bad: Once you get past the wow factor, you're left with only a few stellar hours of gameplay. The series was built with a foundation of over-the-top, soul-crushing, permanently disabling fatalities, but what you'll find here are a mixture of toned down love taps that will ultimately disappoint. Sure, superheroes aren't supposed to kill their opponents (they get something called "heroic brutalities"), but slapping on weak finishers to even the MK fighters—seriously, not one severed limb?—is hard to defend. Also, the online play is shaky, at best, and it's highly unlikely many will venture out into the rough waters of Xbox Live and PSN very long when lag really starts to creep into the servers.

Maxim Tip: You won't find the move list for fatalies or brutalities anywhere in the game. But, you're on the Internet and Uncle Google's door is always open.

Buy, Rent, or Disembowel? A solid rental. Time to break out your Superman jammies!




Smackdown vs. Raw 2009



Smackdown vs. Raw 2009
Rating:

Reviewed by: Gerasimos Manolatos

Price: $59.99

The Skinny: Pick your favorite spandex-clad wrestler, or create your own, and ride him all the way to the WWE heavyweight championship. Wait, there has to be a better way to say that.

The Good: The all-new "Road to Wrestlemania" storyline mode, although a bit repetitive, is satisfying. It will keep you occupied for a few hours, and may even get you to tune in to one of their 5,000 weekly TV shows. The controls are easy—just press one button when your meter flashes to pull off finishing moves—and the presentation of wrestler entrances, which includes live footage, is top notch. Most impressive is the Create-a-Finisher feature which allows you to make your own signature move.

The Bad: Making a game for a niche audience in a way disqualifies certain people from really getting into it. With that said, this is mostly fan service geared toward those who know what the hell an Inferno Match even is. (Unless you live in Los Angeles—you call that "Tuesdays.")

Maxim Tip: If you're looking to throwdown on the road, go with the PSP version—while the DS version has all of the same features, it has touch controls which are innacurate and sluggish.

Buy, Rent, or Disembowel? Buy. The WWE may have given you a low blow with the last few efforts, but there's no shame in picking this one up.

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The 7 Greatest Faceless Announcers in Video Games

With game companies scrambling to secure rights of top flight celebrities (and John Madden) for voiceovers, cameo appearances, and other marginally related uses of their fame, some of the most memorable contributions in gamedom have come from the anonymous dudes with vocal 'tudes. We've sifted through all the mouth pollution and pulled out our favorites:

Halo series

Memorable Lines:
Double Kill. Overkill. Killtrocity. Killimanjaro. Killionaire!


Mortal Kombat series

Memorable Lines:
Finish Him/Her! Fatality!


NBA Jam


Memorable Lines: Whoaaaaaaa KA-boom! Rejected! From downtown! Nails it! He's on fire!


And, our personal favorite: GUGLIOTTA!
 


Gauntlet

Memorable Lines: Treasure, 100 points. Remember, don't shoot the food. Save keys to open doors. Save potions for later use. Warrior, your life force is running out. Wizard needs food badly. That was a heroic effort.


Soul Calibur series

Memorable Lines: "Transcending history and the world, a tale of souls and swords eternally retold."


"A formidable opponent awaits. K.O. Victory belongs to the last one standing. You win!"


720 Degrees

Memorable Line: Skate or Die!



Unreal Tournament series

Memorable Lines: Headshot!



Mega Kill! Ultra Kill! Monster Kill! Rrrrrampage. Massacre.


Holy Shit!


Honorable Mentions

NFL Blitz

Memorable Lines: Spins! Hurdles! Touchdoowwwn!



EA Sports guy

Memorable Line:
EA Sports, it's in the game.


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Beat Our Caption, Become a Snow Bum!

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"No one appreciated Bob's biting commentary."

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sws_2.jpgReady. Set. GO! Yeah, it's a race to the finish this week as we're giving away FIVE copies of Shaun White Snowboarding: Road Trip, Target Edition for the Wii. What's that mean? It means you'll be getting four huge snow mountains to explore along with an exclusive Target mountain filled with death-defying jumps and enough loops to turn your hair "Shaun White red." (It's not a bad thing—chicks dig red...and shiny Olympic and X-Games medals). Don't go and make all the snow yellow if you don't win, though. You can pick up a copy of the game, available now at any Target store nationwide.

As always, you can either leave your totally awesome caption in the comments below or check out out Beat This Caption page here. G'luck!


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The Week In Game Reviews: Bond Is Back!

James Bond: Quantum of Solace (Xbox 360, PS3, PC, Wii, PS2, DS)



James Bond: Quantum of Solace
Rating:

Reviewed by: Gerasimos Manolatos

Price: $59.99 (360, PS3), $49.99 (PC, Wii), $39.99 (PS2), $29.99 (DS)

The Skinny: 007 returns with a new babe, more intense action, and a movie tie-in game that doesn't suck!

The Good: The presentation of the game is flawless. From the opening scene when you infiltrate Mr. White's mansion to having the screen turn into the trademark 007 gun-barrel when your health is low, you feel like you are in a Bond movie. Complementing the gunplay is a slick, yet simple takedown system, allowing you to give enemies the ol' heave-ho without making a peep. When you're done saving the world in the single-player story mode, Xbox Live and PSN awaits, where you'll find a deep and satisfying reward system. Everything you do yields a certain amount of money which you use to either unlock new weapons or upgrade them with scopes and grips—you can even "goldenize" them, so don't be surprised if you get taken out by a shiny sniper rifle.

The Bad: The game is fun, in the same way the Super Mario Bros. on the NES is still fun to play today. QoS fails to really set itself apart from other first-person shooters, especially with Gears of War 2 and Resistance 2 soaking up the multiplayer market. That's not to say that there aren't people playing this game online, because there are plenty. But, when you've got 60 bucks burning a hole in your pocket, it's hard justifying purchasing a game with a five-hour single-player experience with noticeable AI quirks.

Maxim Tip: While the game straddles both Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace, those worried about having the upcoming sequel ruined for them will only find a relatively small amount of spoilers—namely, everything except the very last location of the movie is revealed. Just a word of warning.

Buy, Rent, or Disembowel? Rent it. It's got a short, but sweet singleplayer and the online portion may hold your attention long enough until James Bond: 2 Quantum 2 Solace.



Resistance 2 (PS3)



Resistance 2
Rating:

Reviewed by: Gerasimos Manolatos

Price: $59.99

The Skinny: The Chimera virus has spread across the seaboard and now threatens the United States. Nathan Hale, infected by the virus, straps on his carbon rifle and heads back onto the battlefield, hoping to save a world that's slowly succumbing.

The Good: Sure the set-up is formulaic as hell (cough cough Halo 2, Halo 3, Gears of War 2 couch cough), but that's because, well, it works. After escaping the first section of the game, you'll encounter the full extent of the Chimera virus invasion: three gigantic Chimera capitol ships hovering over the Golden Gate Bridge, a sight that'll have you looking out your window just to make sure that it isn't actually happening. Even more impressive are the co-op and multi-player options, which allow you to team up with up to seven other friends and go through very different missions based around the impending Chimera invasion. Either way, you'll level up and increase your e-penis with trophies and other such spoils of the Internet.

The Bad: The story isn't exactly Tom Clancy-in-motion, but all you really need to know is that there are a shit ton of aliens invading and you need to go kill them. Again, it's a formula and again, we're not totally sick of it yet. Yet.

Maxim Tip: Sony is boasting that it will take 420 hours to complete everything there is to do in the game, or approximately 18 days of continuous play. Better get to it!

Buy, Rent, or Disembowel? Buy it.



Fallout 3



Fallout 3
Rating:

Reviewed by: Gerasimos Manolatos

Price: $59.99

The Skinny: In a post-apocalyptic America, everyone has gone underground to avoid the massive wars raging across the world. You play a boy, raised all his life in a fallout shelter, who has to venture out into the world for the very first time in search of his father.

The Good: Gears of War 2 may have you chainsawing people in half, but Fallout 3 is one of the most violent games you will play this year. The weapon targeting system, called VATS, is spot on, allowing you to aim your gun—small pistol and large missile launchers included—so precisely that you can behead mutant enemies, rip their limbs off, or tear their torsos in half. The gameplay also gives you the choice of becoming a knight in shining armor or the biggest rat bastard in all the land. Plus, you won't find a more expansive game around, with a running time estimated between 50 and 75 hours. Not a bad investment to make with the real world slowly deteriorating as well.

The Bad: The gameplay is solid, but there are way too many times in the game when you're either looking for something to do or are faced with traveling across the whole map just to get to a target. That could easily mean 20 minutes of walking through enemy-infested territory just so you can deliver an envelope. Seriously, that's one mission. While you'll be able to transport instantly to places you've already visited, you are still going to have to manually get to all these places at least once in your adventure in order to "discover" them. Also, while the presentation of the game seems to be first-person shooter intensive, there's a surprising amount of meticulous planning and maneuvering you'll have to do before jumping into fights. Great for those who have a lot of sit-down time, bad for those who just want to pick up and play.

Maxim Tip: You'll encounter lots of weapons and items traders across the region. You can either buy their wares legally or just kill them and take all of their money, guns, and clothing.

Buy, Rent, or Disembowel? It's a great value at just 60 bucks, but if you've never played Bethesda's previous Elder Scrolls games, we'd recommend renting before buying.

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[11/21/2008]